The Love of My Life
by PrettyKittyKat23
Summary: My life has had many twists and turns that got me to where i am today. Being on So Random, every single guy I've met. And a very important one who's my husband now Read this story to see the twists and turns that shape who I am.
1. Prologue

hey, there is some emo, and other depressing things in this story, it is supposedly a book, but this is Sonny private copies, that's why there are refernces to drugs and drinking and nobody getting in trouble, this book is somewhat a guide for other girls from sonny, and just a book of her life mainly guided by the guys she liked.

this is like what you'd find on the outside of a book be4 u read it

Disclaimer: i do not own SWAC, and im too lazy to have to rewrite this for every chapter

Summary

Hey everybody. This is a book about my life, and how i fell in and out of love. Of course you already know who i am with now, so there's no need mentioning that now. This book is basically about how i've fallen in love, and how to get over things like getting your heart broken. Also, there's a bit of insight into how i fell head over heels for the guys of my dreams, well most of the time. A very special thank you to all of the people who took the time to write parts of what i put in in their point of view, so everything's not only through my eyes!

Little excerpt

I sat there, on the floor of my bathroom, the blood dripping from my hand, and i was crying. the thing which had consoled me for so long, the thing which helped the pain go away, it wasn't helping. i was frustrated, so i shrieked, since i thought no one was home.

i was wrong, apparently, for the first time in like ever, my mom was home early. she rushed into the room, and i was ashamed, and afraid. i thought she would hit me, i thought she would kill me. if she didn't i thought the embarassment would.

she stood at the door shocked. then she did something i didn't expect, she hugged me. She hugged me, and i hugged her back. she didn't care about her clothes. she showed the passion i always dreamed of. she consoled me. she changed me with that one hug.

Do ya like? Think it's boring? Think I should continue? Then PLS OH PLS REVIEW!!!!!

If yiou have any good ideas on what I should incorporate into the story PLS PM me!!!


	2. Author's Note

**Hey yeah, you may think this is one of those really boring author notes where I state how I won't be able to write cauz of school, but that's not the main reason I'm writing this (though yeah, now you know!)**

**My main reason for writing this is so that you understand this story is kind of one shots about different times in Sonny's life. It's only one shots right now cauz I still have to figure out how I'm pulling this together, so my one shots will be pretty long, I'm hoping to put one up this weekend! Cross my fingers, and enjoy.**

**Oh yeah, I had one more thing to say…**

**PLS REVIEW!!! pls?**


	3. The Beginning

**Hey I changed my mind (again?!) yeah I do that a lot. I'm going to post up as mush I can at a time, so I don't have to make you wait. Sometimes I'll add chapters to the middle or something cauz I change my mind about the order. Hope you enjoy!**

I walked into my house, surprised it was silent, and dark. I mean, it was only 5. I flicked on the light and noticed something was off-

"SURPRISE!" said a few people.

"I'll admit I'm surprised, but what is this about?" I said slightly confused and still getting over the shock.

My mom came up and hugged me, "Oh, honey, I'm so proud of you!?" I could see a tear in her eye.

"What is this about?" I yelped. I was just too curious!

"Here you go," said my amazing husband handing me a present.

"Awww," I said leaning up so he could kiss me, "Thank you."

"But you don't know what it is," he complained, "Open it," he said in that hypnotizing voice of his, I really couldn't not listen.

I carefully went to one of the bottoms and took off the tape. I'm really bad at just ripping off the paper, I think It just has to be done neatly. I rolled the paper off the entire present before looking at it. It was a book, I basically bawled my eyes out, feeling the cover.

"Read it. Read it," everyone there started chanting.

"Okay, okay," I say opening up to the first page, a tear of mine hitting the paper.

**Confused? Understand? Like it? REVIEW REVIEW**

**Srry this chapter was so undescriptive, but I couldn't give away the future… it just has to surprise all you readers!**

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**Get it?**


	4. Josh

HEY IF U KNOW ME, AND U THINK THESE NAMES CORROLATE 2 SOMBODY I KNOW... YOURE WRONG!!!! THESE WERE PRETTY MUCH SPUR OF THE MOMENT

a HUGE thanks to EvenABrokenDiamondShines for reviewing my story so far THNX SO MUCH!!!

I will never forget Josh. Who would forget their first love. Josh wasn't the most popular guy in our class, but he was pretty up there. I was in my own world. The world of happy and peppy. It was middle school, and I basically lead all clubs involving school spirit.

I would always smile when he was there, I would put on my peppiest act, hoping he would notice me. And according to my bestest friend Sarah, he did. When she would tell me what he told of me, I would blush and get so excited.

Then one day, he actually talked to me. For the first time ever, I had a private conversation with him. Of course I was nervous, but I hid that with extra pep.

"Hey," he said

_He said hey to me!_ I thought, I just was so happy! "Hi," I said, slightly casually, hoping the pep in me would not translate to excitement

"Do you mind if we talk somewhere private?" he asked casually walking into the school library.

"Sure," I said as if what he was doing didn't even affect me.

We both walked in and I followed him until we were in the back he turned around and said, "Look," catching my attention, "I don't know how to say this, but I'm not into you, so could you please stop with all the gossip and all about how you like me?" he blurted.

It took me a second to process, "What?" I said, "You don't even know me!"

"You don't know me, yet you like me," he said smugly.

"Fine," I said stomping off. I wouldn't admit it, but I was breaking on the inside. Breaking every second, until finally school was over. I ran all the way home, I unlocked the door and started crying. Yeah, you'd expect my mom to come in and ask what was wrong, but of course my mom isn't home, she's out at work. I barely see her, and she's never there when I wish she was. She used to be there, until she started putting her job before me. That wasn't too long ago. My dad is also at work, so I don't get why my mom had to get a job, she never told me, and she just said she needed one. Yeah right, was I really that bad of a child? I guess I'm a bit moody, but I started wailing some more.

I ran to our kitchen, grabbed a tub of ice cream, and then sat down on our couch. It didn't really matter what I did, nobody would know cause I could make it all look fine for when everybody got here.

I was right. My mom didn't see a change in me. If she did, she just didn't care. Why oh why couldn't she put some effort into knowing me? I bet she didn't even know my favorite color, and it's plastered all over my room!

I sighed, and put my head back on my pillow.

JUST HOW IRONIC, I THINK JOSH IS SUCH A GUD NAME, THEN I GO TO SCHOOL... WOW!

Pls review? pls make my day?


	5. Josh Part 2

"_Look I really don't want to say this but…" Sarah said dragging on, not continuing her sentence._

_"But what!" I said, I was kind of afraid of what she was about to say._

_"There's this rumor spreading around about something Josh said," Sarah said pausing._

_"You know I don't care about him anymore, so what did he say?" I said, calmly, cause it was true. I did not care at all about Josh._

_"Well, it was about you," she said nervously, "he said that you were a retarded ball of sunshine, he said that you were retarded and he didn't like you cause you had a 'too sunny' personality," she rushed that._

_I stood there frozen. I could not believe the words that retard called me. What a coward not to say it to my face! Retard! "Oh, ok," I said shrugging it off, but it wouldn't leave my thoughts. I thought I had trapped it, and then it would loom in my head, 'too sunny, too sunny' chanting in my head._

It just got to me, the words MY FRIEND had to tell me. He couldn't just say it to my face? He had the nerve to have it passed on by gossip to me?!??!!! BITCH, well I don't get what's so insulting about calling someone a female dog, but man does it feel good.

I ran into my house, dropped my backpack somewhere, and started bashing things and throwing them on the ground. I didn't get that far because splinters of glass had gotten all over my legs. Great day to wear short shorts, huh? I looked at my legs and enjoyed the blood falling down, sadly it was only trickles. I wanted more!

I walked, well really limped to the bathroom, a slight trail of blood following me. I sat in the bathtub with a small cloth to soak up the blood. oh, it's luscious color, eating away the natural color of the towel. white to red, the towel trying to consume as much of it as possible. I carefully dabbed the spots, not wanting the glass to get further in. Eventually the blood stopped, and I was sad. I got to work, taking the glass out, enjoying the slight pain that came with taking each piece out. I finally got them all out. I had a bath, then changed into long pants, so my mom wouldn't notice, but would she really care. I'm more scared about my dad at night. He'll probably check on me in the night. He works, but I know he cares about me and I admire him.

I got out the broom and started sweeping up the glass and throwing it out. in a few days nobody will know the stuff was even there before. I went up to my room, and started my homework. Life was just so wonderful.

Eventually my mom got home. She still didn't notice anything different, like considering the nice weather, I was in long pants. Her caring for me is just a dead cause. Just like me.

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	6. Josh Part 3

The next day I got up carelessly, no more happiness for the wonderful day, nothing. I dragged my own body out of bed, it barely listened. I opened my closet, put on my darkest clothes. I wore dark skinny jeans, with a black tank toppish bubble shirt over a red tank. I couldn't resist the beauty of red, the blood it reminded me of.

I walked downstairs, it doesn't really matter what I do, I could skip school. Mom and Dad had already left for work. I wonder what it was like to have my mom wake me up, and give me homemade food. Something I can always wonder. _She just had to get a job!_ Screamed in my head, while I took it out on the bread, squishing it. _Damn it_, I thought, _Now I'll get a squished sandwich_. Me being me, I didn't want that. I threw out the bread, grabbed a granola bar for breakfast and walked out the door.

No lunch It was only once, was my reasoning. There were plenty of girls who do it daily but I'm not dumb like that. The walk continues, and I just feel numb. The words Sarah had to tell me repeating in my head while it sinks lower.

Eventually I reach school, but I don't notice. My friends see me, and start waving. I don't acknowledge their existence. They just leave me alone, not one of them comes to see how I am. I just continue walking, then sit in a corner in the shade, away from everyone.

The bell rings. Everybody goes inside. I just sit there till a teacher comes and drags me in. she yells at me, I don't hear a word. When she's done, I walk to my locker, then to my class as if nothing had happened. Because nothing had. Everything is nothing until you give it meaning. There is no point giving meaning the words when you just don't care. When everything is meaningless, you wonder why you were born, why you're still there.

Finally, my best friend Sarah came up to me. She kind of snapped me out of my daze. Kind of.

"Sonny what is up with you?" she asked, I don't really think she cared. She seemed more sassy standing up in front of me.

"Nothin," I muttered, but I couldn't even fool myself. Great lie that was.

"No, there is something wrong. You haven't talked to anyone, you got yelled at by a teacher, and you're wearing black!" she basically said black like it was some kind of disease, "Worst of all," she whispered sadly, "I haven't seen you smile at all. I just miss my best friend." This time, I believed her, and I felt even depressed knowing I'm hurting somebody. Worst of all, she's my best friend, I really should tell her what's wrong.

"Look, I guess I'm a bit upset about what Josh had spread about what he thinks about me," I spat out slightly rushed. I just couldn't repeat the words the Sarah had said to me. I just really wasn't over everything about Josh.

"Oh. That's the problem," Sarah said calmly while sitting down next to me on the bench, "Look Sonny, you're way better than that ass. He said he didn't like you, so what? There are so many more cute boys, who aren't assholes. About what he said about you, he was obviously pissed that you had taken the news that he didn't like you too well. He's a conceited bitch who needs the world revolving around himself. You didn't give him that, so he needed revenge. You're better than him," she said ending her really inspiring monolougue. It made me smile, and it felt good to do that. I gave Sarah a huge hug.

"Thank you so much," I say to Sarah, now beaming.

"You're welcome," she responds, hugging me, "Come on, let's go say hi to Josh!"

The idea was awesome, I hopped off the bench, "Lets."

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The rest of the day was awesome, school ended too soon. You could tell Josh was angry at how fast I rebounded by the way he stiffened, and the sight of me. I didn't care. He wasn't worth my emotions. But toying with his emotions was DEFINITELY worth it. It was really funny to see him so pissed. Of course, he exploded, but it didn't phase me. That only pissed him out more. It was hilarious.

Sadly, school eventually ended. I said bye to everyone, and started on the walk home. I was happy the entire walk home, but then something exploded when I walked into an empty home. I just stomped around and I was furious.

I didn't want to break anything again, mom just might get suspicious, probably not. So, I decided to take a shower.

The hot water pounding down on me calmed me down. It just felt so soothing. Everything bugging me just had a way of washing out of my system.

I stepped out of the shower, happier, and calmer. As I dried, I slightly winced at the pain of the cuts. I got used to it. Then, after changing into shorts and a tank top, I truly looked at the cuts. There were no scabs, the wounds still looked so fresh. I just wanted to reopen them and watch the blood gush out.

I ran to the kitchen, got a knife, and then, reopened majority of the wounds, watching all of the blood gush. This was like my heaven.

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uh oh!!!! Wuts wrong with Sonny? Is she turning emo? You're just gong have to continue reading, another HUGE thanks to EvenABrokenDiamondShines for all her comments!!!! THANX SO MUCH!!

So this is how things r gonna roll, I write during the wk, to post on the wknds, if u wanna help me write, PM me, and u can preview my chapters, and give me ideas on how 2 continue this speaking of which…

PLS REVIEW


	7. Whose Blood? MY BLOOD!

**Hey, I'm trying 2 write a short story 4 a contest, can u please PM me some ideas if u have any?? I have NONE and I REALLY wanna enter!**

**Do NOT own SWAC (DUHHH!)**

I ran home, into my bedroom, and pulled out the knife I grabbed from the kitchen. I reopened the wound. The blood ran out, and it was no surprise. I did this to me daily. The beauty of the blood had gotten to my head. I bought so much blood red clothing, I think my mom actually took slight notice.

Every wound was like healing an inner scar. My parents never loved me, they wouldn't of ever left me like this is if they did. My mom would be home, she'd be talking to me, and I'd be ignoring her. We'd be close, not so separate. They hate me. and with that I drew the blade into my hand again and yelped with the pain. This time I cut fresh skin, something I hadn't done in time.

And then I saw the door swing open.

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Short? I know, but hey, it leaves room and leads you into the next chapter. I'm like SO BUSY, trying to update all my stories, I'll spend more time on it next time. PROMISE, I already know how I want the next chapter to go!


	8. I'm Sorry Sonny

PLS HELP ME!!!! i NEED fic short story ideas!!!!!!!!! PLS!!!!

**Connie POV**

I knew there was something wrong with Sonny. It started on this wonderful day I saw her in sweats. She loved sunny days. She loved her shorts. But maybe then was then, so I just kept quiet. She just kept wearing black and red though. I didn't want to believe it, I didn't want to shove myself into her.

She just kept up this attitude. She gave me a colder and colder shoulder. I knew something was wrong. So, one day I decided to come home early and have a talk with her. I wanted us to be how we used to. I wanted her to know that I cared.

I opened the front door silently and quietly came in so Sonny wouldn't be able to hide again wrong she was doing. Having boys over, whatever. I heard a noise from Sonny and I ran to her room

To say I wasn't scared with what I saw would be a lie. To want to scream at her is something I would never do. I wanted her to know I was there for her.

I ran to her and hugged her. I needed to be strong for her. For whatever reason this was happening. There was blood on the floor and it was pouring out of her hand. I just hugged her and hoped the hurting would leave her. This was going on no longer. She needed me. she always had, and I just left her.

I know, I know, promised a longer chapter, but I'm having a block, and I wanted to give you _something_ this wknd…

PLS REVIEW


	9. I'm Sorry Sonnypt2

**OMG, I'm like SO srry 4 the l update… but I've been busy, and I've been trying to come up w/ wut 2 write… and well, lets see how this goes**

**Connie POV**

"This is all going to be okay," I said hugging her. "You just gotta stop. I promise I'll be there for you," and I would. I never wanted this to happen to her!

"I'm sorry," she kept mumbling as she cried into my arm.

"No, I'm sorry," this was all my fault as a bad parent. I left Sonny even though she still needed me. We sat there as she cried into me in comfortable silence. Eventually she stopped. I slowly tried to get Sonny off of me, "I'm going to be right back," I said as I rushed to the kitchen to get a rag.

I came back as soon as possible to see Sonny desperately waiting for me. I went back on the floor next to her and started wiping the dried blood off her arm. I could see her wince, but she never said a word. "Sweetie, you have to make a promise to me," she was nodding, "You have to promise me you're never going to intentionally hurt yourself again," I could she her hesitate..

"Yes," she said nodding. She was dazed and confused and so helpless. I could not stop the anger at myself for doing this to her.

"What do you want to do?" I asked her.

"I'm kinda hungry," she said, and then I really looked at her besides the wounds. What had I done? Sonny was skin barely covering her bones. She must've never eaten because there was never food because of me. I was truly ashamed. "You want me to cook for you?" I remember when she was little and I'd put on my own show cooking. I remember how Sonny's face lit up.

"Yes please," she said slowly getting up. Hopefully I could help Sonny with the terrible mistake I forced upon her.

**Srry it's short, the next 1, or the 1 afterwards should be long!**

**PLS REVIEW**


	10. A Talk

**Srry 4 taking so long 2 post, last wknd I wuz REALLY busy…**

**Disclaimer- do not own SWAC… **

**Check out my poetry, ;) pls?**

**CONNIE POV**

I sat in our living room after tucking Sonny in. I still couldn't shake how this all was my fault. Sonny just needed a new start. Everything would be fine, it'd just take time. And that's why I was still up. I was waiting, waiting for my husband so we could talk this out.

I heard the door open. He was home "Henry," **(cauz I felt like it :P)** I say, "we need to talk about Sonny."

"What happened?" he asks worriedly.

"We need to move," I state, not wanting to avoid the most important thing.

"What happened?" he repeated, even more nervous than before. Henry was a kind, caring father, he just had to work a lot for his job. If he could, he would definitely just quit his job and spend time with Sonny. I know how he enjoys every second he gets with her. I lead him into the kitchen and explained today to him.

"So," I continue, "I think we should move to Wisconsin, let Sonny be with her grandparents," I hoped Henry would listen and understand. They were of course, his parents. Mine were in Europe and that'd be too hard for Sonny.

"How soon can we find a house?" I'm grinning knowing we can move for Sonny.

"Soon, I just need to look into it."

"I'll need to find a job."

""Let's move first."

"Fair enough," he says, "just look after Sonny till then. We'll move as soon as we can, just find a house. I'll give my parents a call, see if they know of any jobs."

"Thank you," I say. I know how good it'll be for Sonny to live her grandparents. That's how I grew up, with family all around me, the best way there is.

**And that's how Sonny goes to Wisconsin :P**

**I'll probably have a REALLY long chapter next, I hope!**


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